By Jesse | April 11, 2011
Last weekend I was having a food crisis. I was hungry, didn’t want to go anywhere, and couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to order.
I stumbled on a banner add for Pizza Hut’s Ultimate Stuffed Crust Pizza while checking my Yahoo email for delivery coupons. The ad looked so enticing I decided to order.
As a child, Pizza Hut was my favorite. I loved that silly book club with the free Personal Pan Pizza’s after reading five books. It was about as close as my family ever got to going to a real restaurant. They seated you, you had wait staff, and even desert pizza. And the best part was that the food was actually good.
It’s been a slow decline for Pizza Hut. It started with the four years of indulging in the all-you-can eat Pizza Hut buffet on State Street in Madison. I rationalized it as “buffet” food. Of course it wasn’t as good as ordering it fresh. It only got worse when I moved to Chicago. Every pizza was worse than the last. This “Ultimate Stuffed Crust” was the final nail in the coffin.
The experience first when wrong with the online ordering process. The process lead me to believe that I was getting a large pizza with the “ultimate stuffed crust” and the same toppings on the pizza. This was in fact incorrect. I will admit to some of the blame here. This very well could have been operator error fueled by a hangover. However, it got worse. The order never officially took. It froze in the processing state, and I had to do something we’ve all become accustom to hating, speaking to a live human being on the phone while placing an order.
They had in fact received my order. You would think I would have been able to clarify exactly what I would be getting at this stage, but unfortunately, the Pizza Hut employee’s English was about as good as my Spanish, which is to say it was muy malo. He was a nice guy and I hate to fault him, but I had no idea what he said besides that he had received my order.
The pizza and my chicken wings arrived at a decent time, but that was the last good thing I have to say about my food. I wish I would have taken a few photos, but I was too appalled that I was going to put that monster in my body. So this is getting classified as From the Editor’s Desk and not an official review.
Anyway, first off, my pizza was not what I intended to order. It was an Ultimate Stuffed Crust pizza, but only cheese. I thought I was getting the same meat trio that was rolled up in the crust on the pizza itself. The pizza was slightly cold, salty as hell, and generally lousy. The crust was the best part, and that’s not saying much.
My chicken wings were just as bad. It looked like someone had baked a few wings and just squirted some pre-packaged sauce on top without bothering to mix it at all. The sauce was a dark reddish orange, not typical to your usual buffalo wing sauce. The wings were small and low quality.
Needless to say, I still ate the whole thing in one day. It was gross and I wish I could take it back. That was the last straw Pizza Hut. After a twenty plus year relationship, I’m calling it quits. Luckily Papa John’s is now back in Chicago.