2011

By Jesse | December 29, 2011

Hola Amigos, it’s been awhile since I last rapped at ya. All and all it’s been a slow year here on Fast Food Reviewed. As you can probably see, I’ve more or less given up on updating this site. Mostly because I don’t eat much as much fast food and I have a hard time endorsing it to the public. However, my fascination with America’s food will likely never die, so expect to see the occasional morsel here and there from me in 2012.

I’m Never Ordering Pizza Hut Again

By Jesse | April 11, 2011

Last weekend I was having a food crisis. I was hungry, didn’t want to go anywhere, and couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to order.

I stumbled on a banner add for Pizza Hut’s Ultimate Stuffed Crust Pizza while checking my Yahoo email for delivery coupons. The ad looked so enticing I decided to order.

As a child, Pizza Hut was my favorite. I loved that silly book club with the free Personal Pan Pizza’s after reading five books. It was about as close as my family ever got to going to a real restaurant. They seated you, you had wait staff, and even desert pizza. And the best part was that the food was actually good.

It’s been a slow decline for Pizza Hut. It started with the four years of indulging in the all-you-can eat Pizza Hut buffet on State Street in Madison. I rationalized it as “buffet” food. Of course it wasn’t as good as ordering it fresh. It only got worse when I moved to Chicago. Every pizza was worse than the last. This “Ultimate Stuffed Crust” was the final nail in the coffin.

The experience first when wrong with the online ordering process. The process lead me to believe that I was getting a large pizza with the “ultimate stuffed crust” and the same toppings on the pizza. This was in fact incorrect. I will admit to some of the blame here. This very well could have been operator error fueled by a hangover. However, it got worse. The order never officially took. It froze in the processing state, and I had to do something we’ve all become accustom to hating, speaking to a live human being on the phone while placing an order.

They had in fact received my order. You would think I would have been able to clarify exactly what I would be getting at this stage, but unfortunately, the Pizza Hut employee’s English was about as good as my Spanish, which is to say it was muy malo. He was a nice guy and I hate to fault him, but I had no idea what he said besides that he had received my order.

The pizza and my chicken wings arrived at a decent time, but that was the last good thing I have to say about my food. I wish I would have taken a few photos, but I was too appalled that I was going to put that monster in my body. So this is getting classified as From the Editor’s Desk and not an official review.

Anyway, first off, my pizza was not what I intended to order. It was an Ultimate Stuffed Crust pizza, but only cheese. I thought I was getting the same meat trio that was rolled up in the crust on the pizza itself. The pizza was slightly cold, salty as hell, and generally lousy. The crust was the best part, and that’s not saying much.

My chicken wings were just as bad. It looked like someone had baked a few wings and just squirted some pre-packaged sauce on top without bothering to mix it at all. The sauce was a dark reddish orange, not typical to your usual buffalo wing sauce. The wings were small and low quality.

Needless to say, I still ate the whole thing in one day. It was gross and I wish I could take it back. That was the last straw Pizza Hut. After a twenty plus year relationship, I’m calling it quits. Luckily Papa John’s is now back in Chicago.

SIHPIA – 2011

By Jesse | March 30, 2011

So far 2011 has been a crazy and exciting year for me. I haven’t been eating as much crap as usually, but have started a new job and ended up in a pretty different overall life situation. All good so far, but in summary, I haven’t had much time to post.

I’m in a little bit of a moral quandary on what to do with this blog. It’s been a great learning experience, but I’m not sure if the subject matter is something I want to continue with.

Is anyone out there reading this? Is it worth continuing featuring news, ideas, and reviews? Or is there a better topic to start blogging about? Readers, let me know what you think.

A, B, C, D, … J, K, L, M Burger Review

By Jesse | December 5, 2010

Burger. Burger. Burger. Cheese burger. Cheese burger. Cheese burger. The burger is back. Or rather the burger is in. I can’t seem to escape recommendations to try a new unique/gourmet burger joint practically every week. The most recent of in this breakout of burger joint plaque is M Burger in Chicago.

I’m fuzzy on the beginnings of M Burger. Rumor has it, it was conceived in the back of one of the many Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises restaurants. The unlikely hooking up of a more traditional chef and his love of the lowly hamburger inspired what I was told was a truly great burger. I honestly haven’t been able to confirm if this story, especially with their simple and uninformative website.

It came to the point where I could no longer ignore the buzz. When I found out that M Burger’s second location was a mere blocks from my place of employ, I knew I had to make a stop for lunch.

The restaurant itself was tiny. About the size of a large city bedroom. (Well not that small, but you get the idea.) And it was packed with tourists, hip advertising types, and kacki-clad office workers. The decor is a modern with simple benches and tables crammed in. It had an open kitchen where you could see several busy workers making burgers.

The Menu:

I ordered the M Burger and fries. The M Burger consists of bacon, cheese and a “secret sauce”. The staff was courteous and fun, jabbing at my friend for change her order several times. However, the place was so packed we had to take our food to go.

The Burger was a pretty simple affair. Plain white bun, single patty,American cheese, lettuce, pickles, and “secret sauce”. The “secret sauce” tasted suspiciously like thousand island and another well known secret sauce. There was a generous covering of well-done bacon. It really reminded me of a single patty, bacon-topped, higher quality ingredient Big Mac.

The fries were shoestring, reminiscent of McDonald’s, but somehow tasted more natural. They were quite good. I was impressed with the size of the single, one size order of fries. There was more than enough fry for one dude.

What did I think? I was not that impressed. The burger was just OK. It tasted like your typical fast food burger, albeit with better ingredients. The fries were good, but not exceptional.

Will I be back? Yes. While the food wasn’t great, the prices were reasonable, and the environment and staff were fun and friendly.

Important Food Safety Bill Passed

By Jesse | December 1, 2010

Any regular reader of my blog has likely heard me moan about food saftely. A very important food safety bill was passed today by the senate. This is the biggest and most important food safety bill in decades. A few of the highlights:

-A vast expansion in the power of the FDA to regulate food
-Better overall food safety
-Slightly higher food costs

Yahoo! News breaks it down in more detail. I encourage you to give it a read.

Wendy’s to Debut New Fries

By Jesse | November 11, 2010

In another, “You know when it’s real” inspired move, Wendy’s is debuting new fries, dubbed “Natural-Cut Fries”.  These, more natural fries are made from 100% Russet potatoes and still have the skin on them. The are actually worse for you, with about 70% more salt and 10 calories in the medium order. Looks like they are following the Five Guys model. Prices are not changing.


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